5x FALSE BEAUTY BELIEFS WE ARE BEING TAUGHT

Pictures from this week

Good Morning!

All of us, at least the ladies, have probably heard some sort of universal guidelines considering beauty & style in their lives. These are usually culturally situated, telling us what is (in)appropriate to wear. Or do. ”Are you sure you should be going out in that?”. Often, but not always do these conceptions something to do with age, weight, sex or socioeconomic class. Here are the main ones I’ve been taught; is there something we can learn from them, or is everything just dinosaur advice?

  1. You’re too young or too old to use ____.

    What? Consensual adults are in my eyes fairly free to put on whatever floats their boat. Why would one need to give up on their style after turning x? Or, getting told that they look old before their age, when putting on more formal wear with a bunch of layers? I think some guidelines are useful, no matter the age; such as when revealing a lot on the top, use a covering bottom, and vice versa. But there should be no individual items that are age restricted. Period. Dress for your body type, your personality, and have some common sense doing it; not for your age.

  2. Wear only a maximum of 3 colors per outfit.

    As I can see the reasoning behind this one, it feels very restricting and stiff. In office wear for example it might be good to consider not showing up to customer meetings as a christmas tree, but when it comes to street style, if it works, don’t count the colors! Having multicolor outfit with one main color as a combining factor is actually very hot.

  3. Men like it if you wear red.

    Or, the boys are not going to like you if you wear only baggy or weird clothes. ”Men don’t like culottes” and ”Boys certainly won’t understand oversized coats” are both sentences I’ve heard lately. The whole ideology of women dressing up for men is utter nonsense, and shows how biased our thinking behind gendered subjects is. The hot question is, if I like wearing red, does it suit me, and how it fits my mood. Even as women what we need to stop is telling each other with all seriousness that ”are you sure now darling, remember that men don’t like UGGs”.

  4. Eye bags are chanel

    In the contemporary Western society, being a productive, universal genius is what we all should be right now. Handling every form of social media, combined with a perfect career, relationship, exercise routine, diet and a visiting the family every few months is the trend. We’re taught that in order to be accepted, we should always be busy, developing, becoming ”better versions of ourselves”. Hertta 2.0. This leads to the feeling of unfulfillment, of never being enough. ”Most successful of CEOs sleep some 6 hours a night and wake up at 5” – sort of thinking is suited to make one feel bad for snoozing until 9. Don’t get me wrong here. I absolutely advocate personal development, but one should do that in their own terms, in areas important to oneself.

  5. A good outfit can change your life.

    Looking at you, Cinderella! I have to admit, I as well have bought dresses ”only for the evening”. But in the inferno of consumption we live in, everything around us signals that buying is the key. New is always better. But it’s not. The rush one gets from shopping lasts only a fraction of time; and won’t increase the quality of your life in any way in the long run.

Just some Monday morning thoughts. A huge hug everyone, you can do this week!

Hertta

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A CRAZY, CRAZIER, CRAZIEST WEEK

Teddy Coat/Monki, Bag/Céline, Knit/Isabel Marant, Pants/Malene Birger, Boots/Vagabond

Long time no see!

The last few days have been crazy. First of all, good news. It was exam week, and I succeeded to write a rather great essay for Friday besides all other hazsardness. Then, I flew to Berlin for one night on Wednesday. On a couple hours’ notice. I also got stuck in the elevator, twice, and got into a fight with a taxi driver (Even though the latter might sound like something distantly my fault, he was trying to fool me with the fare). Somehow, I still managed to stay in somewhat of a balance and get a fair amount of sleep – which made this week actually quite great.

I’m an addict. I’m addicted to adrenalin rushes, unexpected events, unpredictableness, traveling ex tempore and finding people to chase the night with. This combined with tenderness, sensitivity, and being rather vulnerable to the world makes it easy putting myself to situations that are harmful for my soul. My life so far has been learning to balance these two. How can I get best of the both worlds? How will I not lose myself when exploring the deeper and darker corners of the world? By staying me. By saying no when no needs to be said. By not giving too much of myself to people who do not deserve it. By spending time doing the things I love, reloading. Giving my body proper food and sleep for it to feel well.

I’ve always been one who struggles to know their own boundaries.

Looking back, I wish I would’ve safeguarded myself better, listened to the gut feeling. Not spent time on and given parts of my soul to people who only took without giving back. Learning slowly where my boundaries lie has given me such comfort I didn’t know existed. It has helped me to feel fulfilled by just being, not only by achieving. This still isn’t something I feel all day every day. But I do feel it every day.

If I’m having a stressful period, I recognize that I’m much more prone to comparing, envying, being hard on myself. Not seeing the good, but the bad. In these situations, I need to shut down social media. It’s so easy to chase solutions from reflecting your own life with others – ”Here I lie with tummy rolls and hormonal acne, but look at her being all perfect and shit”. Nowadays I make an effort to gently speak to myself that ”hey Hertta, this is you speaking. You might as well stop bullying yourself mentally since you’re the one you need to deal with the rest of your life”. Has worked wonders, believe it or not. Tough love!

The last post was published a week ago. I don’t wish to make a tradition out of only wishing you all great Sundays. But now as we’re here, have a great Sunday!

Hertta

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THE DEVIL WEARS RED KITTENHEEL BOOTS

Coat/Acne Studios, Knit/H&M, Skirt & Boots/Zara, Bag/Stella McCartney

Happy Sunday!

My weekend has been quite, ehh, flu-ish. Two evenings worth of headache combined with dizziness has got me wondering of different options from the regular fall flu to a brain tumor. My mentality in being sick is that the body and the mind need rest, good food, lots of liquids, easy-going activities and sleep, sleep, sleep. Stress is the #1 thing I’m doing everything in my power to avoid when feeling ill – stress hormones slow the process of healing (Not to mention make one feel even more awful). Ginger, green tea, smoothies & juices, chocolate, fuzzy socks & oversized, warm clothing. Giving the mind a moment to unwind will equally help the body to heal.

As I’m not one who easily sits still at home if it’s not an absolute emergency, the weekend did have some highlights as well. We had a great brunch at Kvarnen (Södermalm) on Saturday, combined with exploring two new drink places; Vinköket at Gamla Stan, and Tyge & Sessil in Östermalm. Both receive at least a 4/5 from me, and are very warmly recommended for wine or quality evening snack lovers!

As the weather is getting colder, the outfits are receiving more layers and less visible skin. The Red Boot has been everywhere this fall! Overall, red itself as a color has been picked up as the eye-popper of the season in forms of knits, coats, and accessories. These Zara boots I hunt down around a month ago have turned out to be a great investment. Even though Zara often offers an unsatisfying quality in it’s pieces, these ones are made of real leather. The shiny coat is very effortless weather-wise, and the kitten heels makes them suitable for nearly every occasion. The trick is just to wear a lot on the upper body, to achieve a balanced look. A chunky knit or a masculine over sized coat works magic.

Today will be dedicated for laundry, a long walk, and preparing my paper for the essay submitting next friday.

Wishing everyone a wonderful end to the week!

Hertta

A PANIC ATTACK AT THE UNIVERSITY

Coat/J. Lindeberg, Knit/Filippa K, Skirt/Zara, Bag/Saint Laurent, Shoes/Adidas Originals

Good day!

Something unexpected and very unpleasant happened to me this week. Remember when I told you about my social anxiety here? Unfortunately, the matter grew to a whole new dimensions on Tuesday, as I got an actual panic attack at UNI before a group presentation.

When growing up, this issue of experiencing social anxiety, especially in situations of holding presentations, began to rise it’s head. I remember having my hands shake, my mind blank and a cold sweat pushing through whenever a presentation was ought to be made. Group or no group, these moments were of absolute terror for me. Back then, I’ve later become to realize, it was mostly due to the lack of self esteem. In other words, the fear of messing something up – becoming a total joke in front of everyone. Kids can be cruel, but my most harsh judge has always been myself.

Nowadays, it’s not so much about the lack of self confidence. It’s become something a lot more complicated. Even as I’ve grown rather fond of myself, better knowing my limits and capabilities, the anxiety hasn’t disappeared. I’ve grown afraid of the panic itself. Before a presentation, I begin to worry that I’ll go in complete panic and won’t be able to hold the talk – which then again results in absolute panic. It’s a circle of irony.

This week, I didn’t succeed to hold the presentation.

I couldn’t catch my breath or relax my body from tensing every muscle up, not to mention the helpless sobbing and gasping for air. Thank lord for a friend who held my hands and helped me through mechanical breathing. And I feel ashamed – ashamed of being a rational individual, who has a fobia of such a situation which in no way can actually harm me. I’m disappointed in myself for not facing my fear but running away in panic. And these thoughts, I realize, are in my way of healing and getting over myself. Which I’m now doing, by having contacted people who have better understanding of the issue and can provide me with tools I can help myself with. Sometimes one has to admit having drifted to a dead end, and needing help in order to find a way out.

This post’s purpose isn’t dwelling in my personal issues. It’s something I need to put out there in order to fight it. One reason for the panic has been that I don’t wish others to know I’m nervous – god, they might experience a shared sense of shame, or even feel sorry for me! And still here I am, showing you all how dead nervous I am. Of presentations. Which makes me smile now as I say it out loud. Anxiety, you got nothing on me!

Learning to be more gentle towards myself is a key aspect in my personal development this fall.

Hertta