AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER OF A WEEK

Coat/Knight, Turtleneck & Pants/H&M, Bag/Stella McCartney, Shoes/Givenchy, Sunnies/Celine

Hello Sunday!

This week was emotionally hard. In the beginning of the week I hit a fairly bad low, which got to the point that it was close that I couldn’t get out of bed. Or meet people. Or, eat. Even replying to messages felt like an enormous challenge. It caught me by surprise, and I phoned confused, crying filled calls to mum. I’ve been feeling very low before, and I was quite afraid to end up back there again. But towards the weekend I got better, and back to my usual self. Apparently just an unforeseen glitch.

The weekend was wonderful. I decided that even though I’m buried in schoolwork up to my neck, I will shut it off for two days. Just to keep myself sane. And so I did! On both Friday and Saturday evening I managed to meet some old friends I haven’t seen in ages. ”Adult friendship is two people saying ”I haven’t seen you in forever, we should really meet” until one of you dies” – but not this time! On Saturday I travelled to Drottningholm for a magical Christmas market. Or, it would’ve been magical, if the transport would’ve worked! We walked on a roadside for 2km just to get there, and froze in a bus stop for half an hour with thousand others on the way back. But what a beautiful place!

Do you guys recognize the coat? It’s the same as I’ve had in a couple of earlier posts, just the other side up. The black turtleneck which was on my wish list I found from H&M men’s department! A good shopping hack is always to check the guys  side for basics. For some reason it seems that their products are often made of better material, this one being for instance 100% merino wool!

Hopefully everyone has been enjoying their weekend. Best of luck for Monday!

Hertta

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THE SILENT KILLER – HOW INSOMNIA FEELS LIKE

 

Sunday Dinner at Riche : Coat/H&M, Bag/Givenchy, Shoes/Moncler

The bags under my eyes are socially constructed..!

Wouldn’t I just love writing ”my day” posts for you. It’s just that dozens of pictures of book pages and Adobe Acrobat Reader aren’t exactly a main asset for running a style focused blog. This Wednesday I’ll submit my first exam (!), after which I’ll finally be able to catch my breath.

Today I woke up at 2am. And 4am. And, finally, 6.30am, 1,5 hours before my set alarm.

Never in my life have I had trouble sleeping. I’ve always been the one who snoozes hours longer than others at sleepovers, my friends keeping company to my parents at breakfast tables whilst I’ve been snoring in the bedroom. But, the tables have turned. Nowadays my sleep has become so fragile I’m doing everything in my power to hold on to the last bits left. I’ve also began experiencing the weirdest dreams! The other night I had this dream that I was a cat to a 40-ish woman, wiggled my tail and went around in all fours. The kind lady petted me on the back for being such a good cat, and I meowed in gratitude. Explain that, huh? Nonetheless, in my desperation I’ve come up with a few helpful practices to ease the process of falling asleep.

Some tips I’ve noticed might work for a better night’s sleep:
  • Keeping a  low temperature. I always seek to keep my bedroom at 19c, nothing more horrible that rolling around in bed for hours with a cold sweat pushing through.
  • No binging late at night. Although I usually go for long walks rather late and need to fuel myself after, I try to spoon down my last meal before 19 in order for it not to disturb my sleep. If the hunger strikes after that, I’ll opt for fruits or blueberry soup.
  • Reading a bit before bed. This has proven to be the best one. If possible, a book or a magazine, but for me it’s usually NYC Times or Hesari from my phone screen. I know, I know, screens aren’t exactly considered the best sleeping medicine; in the shortage of options I’ve tried to convince myself that the ”night mode” would be less disturbing.
  • Make a to-do list of the stressful things going through the mind. Lovely to wake up at 4am only to go through next days assignments over and over again, preparing your answers mentally beforehand? This can be reduced with detailed lists of what needs to be done. It’s easy to overestimate the workload and get all stressed out!
  • Melatonin. As I relate to actual sleeping medicine with high caution, melatonin has gained a green light from me. Meant for short term usage, it has shown to be a massive help for the most desperate of times. But no medicine comes without possible side effects; research has shown that melatonin causes for example nightmares. Perhaps the cat dream was all fueled, who knows!

All tips will be received with an enormous gratitude.

Hertta

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WHAT DOES SOCIAL MEDIA NOT REVEAL ABOUT ME?

In the era of social media it’s very easy to give and receive a superficial image of well, basically anyone. It’s often not intentional and there’s no-one to blame, but it’s good to keep in mind that there’s usually a lot going on under the surface. Here’s a mini post of what might be left unseen about me.

1. I’m a hard-boiled geek. I enjoy watching scifi, and have seen all the Alien, Predator, and Star Wars movies, to name a few. The universe with all it’s stars, galaxies, nebulas and dark matter interests me like a child, and Elon Musk is someone I really look up to. My favorite section within different newspaper releases is the science one.

2. I’m very emotional and not afraid to cry (read: I just can’t help it). Whether exhausted, stressed, sad or mad, my body reacts with tearing up. It’s very annoying to be just a 165cm and very angrily try to make a point at someone, only to notice that you begin crying and become all sad and adorable in their eyes. Arghh

3. I love the nature, and really miss it when living in town. Growing up I used to be a girl scout for 8(?) or something years. We also have always had family traditions of spending time outdoors, was it then fishing, picking mushrooms or berries. I spent my whole teenage years being furious of us not living in the city – only to find out that when I actually moved here, I miss being surrounded by nature a great deal. Fun fact, I’ve always been more excited about fishing and outdoor hobbies than any of my boyfriends, and been forced to try to lure them into the forest.

4. I experience social anxiety. The magnitude of it varies, but it’s been something I’ve had to deal with a lot during my school years. Even my closest friends are sometimes surprised when I bring this one up; for such a social and bubbly person everything just doesn’t add up. But whenever I’m in new situations with a lot of people, I get very anxious and nervous. The same goes with holding presentations; my hands get sweaty, my voice begins to tremble and my mind goes blank. This is something I need to work on, It makes me sort of sad to know that I’m talented in the subject, but the outcome gets affected by the anxiety.

(The outfit: Shirt/Banana Republic, Bag/Céline, Skirt/Zara, Shoes/Adidas Originals) 

 

Hertta

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WHY YOU JUST NEED TO LOVE AND HATE THE FINNISH PEOPLE

This article is illustrated with the artwork of the brilliant David Shrigley, which I much enjoy browsing during sleepless nights.

When still living in Finland, I always felt a bit like a black sheep amongst my people. I’m very bubbly and social, probably gabbling whenever there’s an opening. Already at a young age I was told by my mom that I must be a latino soul mixed with a northern body. But then, when I moved abroad, it hit me; I really am a dyed-in-the-wool Finn and there’s no denying it. For me, foreign social customs often seem unnecessary and excessive. In Finland, if someone asks how you’re doing, it’s totally acceptable to give the ”Well, my life is being sucked to the black inferno of depression and my mom is drinking again, but otherwise things are cool” answer, because they probably really want to know (Why else would they ask? thinks the Finn). However, in the States for example, the only appropriate answer is ”I’m well thank you, how’re you?” and everything else will give you weird and long looks.

This is a post of my love-hate relationship towards my people. Some of what I thought to be their worst qualities have in fact shown to be purely golden!

Untitled (Circus), David Shrigley 2015

We’re crazy about waiting in lines.

There’s this one store in Finland that gives out free buckets whenever a new store opens. Yes, Buckets. Usually red ones. This day, roughly an hour before the store opens, the queue has already grown to be hundreds of meters long. The buckets always run out in the blink of an eye, and the events make front page news nearly every time without a doubt. Not to mention occasional occurrences of cheap gas or discounted flights. We put on our weatherproof clothes, get on the spot at least an hour before the opening time, and queue as only the Finns can.

 

The survival of the fittest; the free bucket mania. Image source: ess.fi (Not by David Shrigley, surprisingly)

We’re quiet, sometimes grumpy and can seem sort of anti-social. 

Well, perhaps not the millennials of the Helsinki metropolitan area, but in general. It’s not something we intend to do as an insult. The Finnish mentality is simple; why talk if there’s nothing important to talk about. Language is used as an unavoidable means of communication, not to create a chit-chatty atmosphere.  Silence is rarely seen as awkward, and it’s actually quite nice just to be with someone and get all silent together. Even though we might seem grumpy, we’re honest and hospitable people. If a Finn promises something, it’s a matter of honor to live up to his word. Less talk, more action!

 

Untitled, David Shrigley 2014

Finns do not bring out their problems. 

This concerns especially middle-aged men; my step grandpa for example avoided going to the doctors’ for so long that he eventually had a wide-spread Stomach cancer and was given just a few weeks to live. I suppose the mentality behind this is to not bother others with ones issues, and especially to avoid being felt sorry for. This can be seen to lead to a bunch of issues. Isolation, substance abuse, aggressive behavior and depression occur in situations where there’s no outlet for the negative emotions. For our nation, the past has not been easy; we’ve been under the rule of both Sweden and Russia, and as the underdog we have a history of having to fight for even our basic rights. Back in the 1950’s, after several decades of fighting in wars, the country was nearly in ruins. It hasn’t been an easy road to where we are today, and the development has been due to a lot of cold hard work. But Finns do not whine. Our working mentality is well known and valued across the world. We simply do what is needed, on time, no unnecessary questions asked.

We have a unique need of personal space.

Have you ever rode a Finnish bus? The story begins at the bus stop. Even if it’s rush hour, you’ll never see two people standing closer than a meter away from each other. The odds are, the crowd is quiet too. If there’s a bench and a thin seating space left, one shall absolutely not sit on it and risk touching someone else’s thigh or shoulder. Then you board the bus. If there is room, one shall only over their dead bodies sit next to someone. If the nightmare scenario of the bus being so packed that the only seats available are next to someone happens, god forbid if you get all friendly and initiate a chatty little conversation. Please just don’t.


There is Nothing, Then There is Something, Then There is Nothing Again. David Shrigley 2015.

Finnish people don’t take credit over their achievements.

If your Finnish co-worker finishes a huge project astonishingly and you congratulate him, he’ll most likely go all ”Oh no stop it it was nothing”. I see this as a real shame. It’s important to give and get credit from hard work, not least from yourself. To have some healthy pride over ones achievements is sometimes essential: to be able to tell the world with a child-like enthusiasm ”Look, I made this happen!”. Not giving oneself credit when credit is due is a slippery slope to underestimating ones skills and capabilities, and thus underachieving. But there’s a very valuable aspect to be derived from this. The Finns are not ones to indulge in bragging. Even if someone has done really well for themselves, has a huge villa to live in and a garage full of all toys imaginable, you seldom hear or see them showing off. This is a matter of honor, discretion and manners. It’s highly appreciated that money is not a topic of discussion, but rather something hovering in the background, a private matter.

And last but not least, let’s talk about the infamous Finnish accents in foreign languages

As you all probably know, Finland has a tradition of successful Formula 1 drivers. However, when the drivers later attend the interview after scoring a metal, the tables get turned. Whenever Kimi Räikkönen opens his mouth, the rustic rally English comes out to play. Finnish people in general tend to have a relatively large vocabulary and good grammar. Yet the flowing, melodious pronunciation just isn’t compatible with our way of speaking. Not to mention the ”finlandssvenska” people gladly point out when us Finns try our luck in speaking Swedish. 95% of the times I gather my courage and try to hold up a conversation in Swedish, I get called a mumintroll. I doubt it’s ever intended as offensive, but more likely to imply that I’m cute and funny. Nonetheless, I’ve grown pretty tired of it, but will not yield: practice is what makes perfect! What I’m proud of is that every citizen in Finland is required to undergo at least three years of studying swedish, aside of the 7 or at minimum 6 years of mandatory English studies. On top of this, many choose to study a third or even fourth foreign language, usually german or french. How about that, huh?!

A proud Finn over and out. Happy weekend everyone!

Hertta

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